2011년 3월 17일 목요일,
I am just a f***ing piece of s***. Why?
I am sacrificing for no one. Sounds stupid, right? Yeah, that's why I am a stupid piece of s***.
You know what, you should know what is happening first before you can start making comments.
And you, I seriously do not know what you want from me. You haven't even tell me why you send me to Singapore and why you do not want to help me... You want me to suffer as much as possible and yet you do not want me to die... WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?! I seriously cannot understand your meaning to this. You took my knowledge away, you took my talent away... Why do you want to do that? Maybe you want me to find my true self and find a new talent, but I am sorry, I have no mood to find it now. I should just be controlled by you and follow everything that you say. I give up, I seriously give up. You control me, you can brainwash me, you can do anything you want to do to me. I don't care, I have no life anyway. Spending precious times for no reason is not funny, not interesting, not meaningful, NOT WHAT A HUMAN WILL DO!!!
오전 7:04
2011년 3월 7일 월요일,
I'm confused. Why did you bring me to a junior college?
Why did you bring me to Singapore? I have asked you so many times and yet you still did not provide me with an answer... or is it me that is not able to hear your voice...
I am in a trauma now... I just fall into temptations, I cannot control my temper and I am going on with my life, without you...
I feel that I have changed so much that I am not like myself in the past - hardworking, passionate, humble. Now, I always don't feel satisfied with my life, I am lazy and I always think too highly of myself...
I also feel that I am getting more immature and more stupid... This is definitely not me...
What is happening to me? Am I going on a right path? Can I turn back to my actual self?
Honestly speaking, I really want to go back to my actual self. Right now, my body is not following what my mind wants to do... and I always think of doing bad deeds...
I am becoming a horrible and shameful sinner...
Please save me from this pool of troubles... please...
오전 5:38
